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So the TLDR on my lack of content and engagement since the end of May is as follows: Some shit has gone down.
I was rear-ended at the end of May to the tune of $$$ damage. It's currently slated to be repaired by the start of July. I've had a bunch of body aches and pain, so I shelved work both on and offline.
A week later, I woke up in complete and utter terror on a Tuesday around 2 AM. Couldn't breathe, almost hysterical, turning on all lights and TVs. I have no fucking idea why- I couldn't fall asleep again till almost 7 AM. Had a milder episode that Thursday- and then since then, I've been averaging 1-3 hours of sleep a night. I have no idea what's going on. I am fucking tired and in pain all the time.
I'm working with doctors, medications, etc., but no resolution has occurred. As you can imagine, this makes my typical life of four 12-hour days very hard.
Life currently consists of trying to calmly go to sleep between 9 and 1030 pm and waking up like clockwork between 12 and 1:30 AM. And then just being unable to go -back- to sleep because of anxiety and pain. Why anxiety? No fucking idea! My body has decided that sleep is worthy of terror. I've never, EVER had issues like this in my life. Just throat-clenching anxiety throughout my day.
Ping-ponging with doctors and medication - booking appointments with specialists, but getting dates in August and September. Big props to my friends in the trenches with me, sitting on Discord & phone calls at all hours to talk me out of my head and off the ledge.
It's been a ride.
A client texted me earlier in the week on a day I was off from work.
I was -obviously- awake and surprised to see her name on the screen; she NEVER texts. Surprise! She was texting to ask me if I knew a car was stuck in the side of the building. At the very least, being closed for the day was beneficial - I napped for a WHOLE HOUR.
So to circle back to the TLDR: Some shit has gone down. Apologies for the lack of content & news, and I hope to start scratching out stuff again soon.